This story is for all you Mutt-Utt fans. I feel it is time you learned the reality of this crazy maniac. He plays cool, collected and seems to be a nice guy, but in reality no one really knows who he is!
One day, while home with the kids there was a gentle knock at the door. I looked out the window and saw no one, so I assumed I was hearing things, as I usually do. Then I heard the knock a bit louder and stronger, so I decided to just open the door, and there stood a tiny man-dog in a suit. He looked at me with a smile on his face and gently spoke.
“Hello Ma’am, my name is Mutt-Utt. I work with the new museum that opened up around the corner. I am selling tickets for the grand opening. If you purchase tickets now you will save 35%. Can I interest you in some tickets today?”
I didn’t know how to react, how in the world was this little man-dog speaking?? Was he actually standing on his hind legs and wearing a suit?? I couldn’t believe my eyes and so I replied the only way one would when seeing such a site, “Yes, I will take 5, please.” All the while my eyes were wide and I still couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
“Ok, Ma’am, that sounds great! Here is the number to call with your promo code. When you call this number make sure you let them know that Mutt-Utt was who you spoke with to get your full discount. My name and number is on the back. Have a great day!”
Still standing there mouth open, I studdered, “So, are you part dog and man?? How are you talking?”
He laughed to himself, as if he gets asked that question a lot. He explained to me that he is a rare breed, one that can talk….I never knew of such a breed. I asked if there were other animals that could talk and I was surprised to find out that most all animals can talk, they don’t because they know it will frighten us. Anyways, as I was ready to close the door my stupid cat Harvey decided to try to run out.
“Who is that?” The tiny saleman, dog, asked.
“That’s just my cat, she’s crazy.” I replied.
“Do you know if she is single? She is beautiful!” The little dog in a suit asked.
“I have no idea, you might want to approach her, but I doubt she would understand you or even talk, she’s kind of an idiot!” Well, to my surprise, Harvey was actually a genius. She spoke better then I did half the time!
So, from all this Harvey started dating Mutt-Utt. He moved in with us, along with his slow brother, Oswald. I guess he takes care of him, so he said. It was really crazy for all of us to learn that both our cats could talk, and very well, at that.
We all became very close, the dogs became a part of our family…and it was nice to have a third income coming in. Mutt-utt did great for himself with his sales. He bought me a new car, bought each of my kids their own computers, bought my husband anything he needed for work. It was crazy how much this little dog did, and we loved him!
Although, there was an ugly side to him, as well as all of the pets in our house. I started finding dead lizards and dead baby birds in the house, and bird carcasses outside in our back yard. It then got really crazy, I found secret tiny doors that only our animals could fit in. I started noticing crazy behavior from them. One night I was coming home from work, I guess Mutt-Utt and Ivy, our other cat, weren’t expecting me.
“She has no clue what we are up to, does she?” Mutt-Utt asked Ivy.
“From what I can see, these humans are complete morons! This jewel heist must go off without a hitch, or it’s your head!” Was the response I heard from my loving kitty, Ivy….How could this be?
I slowly started figuring it all out. Ivy was the leader of this gang, Mutt-utt was the muscle, Oswald was the side-kick and Harvey, well, I still couldn’t figure what she was….she really had nothing to offer the group. I figured she was probably just Mutt-Utt’s girlfriend and had no idea the reality of things.
As I thought about it more and more, it made sense. Mutt-utt always had money, nice cars, expensive suits and he was paying all our bills for us at that point. One day I decided to approach him about it.
“Mutt-Utt, I have a question for you, and please answer me honestly. Are you really a salesman? I have been trying to figure out how you can afford everything you give to us, as well as all that you buy yourself and your brother.” I asked a bit scared!
“Honestly, no, I am not. I shouldn’t be telling you this, my boss would have my head and yours! I am an infamous Jewel Thief. Have you heard of the Suited Thieves?” Mutt-Utt responded quietly.
“Actually yes, I have! You guys are wanted for stealing the diamond of the world and killing guards. I can’t believe I let you in my home…and how did you get Ivy involved?? You need to stay away from Harvey and leave NOW!” I was startled, this dog had actually killed someone and stole very crazy expensive items. Everything was racing through my head…was he going to kill me next?
“Please, I won’t hurt you! I didn’t bring Ivy into this, she has been the mastermind all these years. She trained me many years ago, as well as my brother. As for Harvey, she is the security and computer genius behind our outfit. You can’t let Ivy know that I told you any of this. She is the dangerous one, I never wanted to kill anyone, but she made me, it was them or me!” Mutt-Utt was sounding scared…and I was feeling bad for him.
I let him stay, so that we could set up Ivy and capture her once and for all. Then all of a sudden one day I was watching TV, assuming Ivy and Harvey were somewhere asleep, Mutt-Utt at work and Oswald hiding somewhere eating his own throw-up when I heard that the new Museum had been robbed of all it’s jewels! I ran through my house looking for just one of them, but instead I found a note under my pillow with an envelope. It read:
“I’m sorry for all the trouble we have caused you. Ivy has made us pack up and leave. Thank you for all you have done for us, and putting yourself on the line the way you did. I will miss you greatly, as will Harvey and Oswald. We truly felt like family with you. I left a present as well, hopefully we will meet again one day!
With much love,
Mutt-utt”
I couldn’t believe what I was reading, this dog COULD WRITE ALSO??? WOW!!! What was I thinking, I could have used him to make myself rich and famous, but instead I let him go….What a moron I was!!! Anyways, I opened the envelope and there was a million dollars in cash, with a few diamonds.
Everyday I sit on my front porch and wonder what ever happened to that dog, his brother and my stupid cats! If you see them please let them know I miss them…and to come home…maybe I can use them to make money then!